in the spirit of Christmas (ok, i know thanksgiving turkey first, but we all cheena, eat rice) here’s something for your entertainment.
please note that the names and places have been changed to protect the innocent (ie. me) this is adapted from an article i recently saw and just couldn’t help myslef (ie. itchy backside lah)
“The Ministry urges people to postpone their travel to a later date if they have no pressing need to go there.
≈ but but, the last time you said that those who can afford it should spend money on spa and massages. Not meh ? then how liddat ? I like the double masseuse with ayurvedic oil type leh…
The spokesman says the situation in the capital remains uncertain and they are closely monitoring the situation.
≈ how? Are you at the airport?
He adds that those intending to travel should monitor news developments there. And before they travel, they are advised to register with the Ministry at their website
≈ ok, you need to make a choice here man. Watch tv or surf internet? I cannot multi-task like those kids nowadays…
This will enable the Ministry and the Embassy to contact them and render necessary consular assistance in case of emergencies.
≈ erm, so assuming I’m able to land there…. What are you going to say when you call me ? also, define render “necessary consular assistance” does this mean you are going to put me up in a 6-star hotel with char kueh tiao and chai tao kueh? Cos if it’s anything short of that, then there’s really no point is there?
Also, what language are you going to use to speak to me when you call ? I remember the last time you didn’t allow me to enter cos I was speaking the local language. I’m confused.
When there, he advises to avoid areas where there is a risk of disturbance, like the Government House.
≈ what do you mean “risk of disturbance”? you mean it’s just a “chance” that there will be disturbance right? Can I still take the day tour there?
They should also take the necessary precautions for their personal safety, including buying comprehensive medical and travel insurance.
≈ ok, let me get this right. Decide to watch tv, or surf internet. Then buy insurance (how many cos. left that haven’t collapse har?) so that if something happen to me (touch wood), someone else gets some money. Ok, check.
He adds that during this period of uncertainty, people must be prepared to face inconveniences in their travel.
≈ hmmm… so if I still decide to go, I must tahan if the aeroplane continues to hover in the air space and cannot land. Hmmm… any masseuse on board?
And should people need help, they can contact the Embassy at [address] or call [tel no] They can also reach the duty officer at 6XXX XXXX”
≈ so if I’m there, I need to dial this overseas no. and what is it that you are going to do ? fly here?
hmmm… I just read another article with similar wordings pertaining to another, more jia-lat disaster… isit your response to such “events” are from a template one huh?
who else?
p/s: oops, tanks are rolling in….!